WE SHOWER AT THE RINK

Jordan Ryan Eberchrist + Liam Payne + Jacon Hoggart = obviously the truest OT3 of life. It’s just science. Also: physics.

ohl educations: apparently, it’s a thing.

an oldie, but a goody: we made this one about three or four years ago. you’re welcome, universe.

in honour of the closing of the national hockey league season, we are pleased to present the third edition of our ohl-education investigative report, “it’s almost like they’re related or something.”

this week, we are sort of breaking the rules of our brother v brother investigative reports by discussing two hockey-playing brothers from the great state of michigan, even though one of them has not spent the majority of the season in the nhl: matt hunwick and shawn hunwick.

matt

• is the player on the right in this beautiful completely un-altered photograph
• is a defenceman for the colorado avalanche
• no1curr

shawn

• is the player on the left in this beautiful completely un-altered photograph
• as you can tell, is a tiny goalie (he is listed as 5’7”, but is apparently 5’5”-ish)*
• is, in fact, the world’s greatest tiny goalie
• set many records as the university of michigan’s starting goaltender, and was once named ncaa frozen four mvp; apparently that is a big deal
• was signed by the columbus blue jackets as an amateur tryout because all seventeen four of their not very good goalies were injured
• played two and a half glorious minutes in the jackets’ final game of this season, after which all the jackets’ skaters patted him on the head like a puppy
• may be 50 per cent of this blog’s current favourite human
• LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE:

conclusion

science says: shawn hunwick is superior not only to matt hunwick but to all other hunwicks, shawns, and matts. and also people in general. in conclusion, shawn hunwick for all the awards, including the jack adams.

*50 per cent of this blog is a short person who just likes to see other short people get ahead in life, okay?

even marty turco hates tim thomas, and marty turco loves lamp.

we are deeply saddened to announce that tj tuesday is going on hiatus; we can no longer share our happy tj memories, given the tragic unfolding tale of sharkliardi.

first they said he was injured.

then he was a healthy scratch.

and now he is “day-to-day”. a likely story. day-to-day with what, mclellan? day-to-day with what???

so, we encourage you, as loyal ohl-education readers, to tell the san jose sharks what you think of this miscarriage of justice. express your outrage. throw off your shackles. stick it to the man. take back the night. rise up. free galiardi.

having the maturity of a twelve year old is hard work, okay?