WE SHOWER AT THE RINK

since this blog is one of true facts, we are pleased to present the very first ohl-education investigative report, “it’s almost like they’re related or something”.

a thing that we have noticed is that hockey commentators are obsessed with brothers in the nhl. it makes pedobear pierre twice as pervy. so, we have decided to examine each set of brothers currently playing in the nhl* and to provide you with scientific conclusions regarding which brother is superior.

*this investigative report only includes brothers who have both spent significant time on nhl rosters in the 2011-12 season. so, sorry wellwoods, folignos, benns, toews, giontas, seabrooks, sestitos, stuarts, mcginns, kessels, bogosians and russells. true fact: it is disturbing that i didn’t have to look any of those up.

brayden

• was drafted by the kings; now plays for the flyers
• is a forward
• won wjc silvers with team canada in 2010 and 2011
• scored his first goal in the winter classic and jumped into the glass to celebrate
• was then told off by claude giroux for jumping into the glass as if he were still at the wjcs, in a beautiful moment of ~mentorship
• pavel bure is his favourite player

luke

• was drafted by the leafs and still plays for them
• is a defenceman
• won a gold medal at the 2008 wjc
• used to play on a defensive pairing with tyler “giraffe child” myers
• was supposed to be the future of the leafs but is now probably going to be traded for james “lol second overall holy crap that was a shitty draft” van riemsdyk
• patterns his play after chris pronger and rob blake

conclusion

we are obsessed with the 2008 junior team canada. but pavel bure owns and blob rob blake sucks. brayden is superior.