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Posts tagged with "did you know that his first name is really regis"

Mar 5
as a reminder that this is a blog of true facts, we are pleased to present the second edition of an ohl-education investigative report, “it’s almost like they’re related or something.” this week, we will compare and contrast two canadian nhlers: zack kassian and matt kassian. this particular report will lie towards the “or something” category of comparison…because they are not wombmates. fact. zack born in kingsville, ontario was drafted by the sabres; now plays for the canucks is a forward won wjc silver with team canada in 2011 does not have a brother named ‘matt’ was once arrested and charged with assault in windsor, ontario matt born in edmonton, alberta was drafted by the wild and still plays for them is a forward hates heights but loves rollercoasters does not have a brother named ‘zack’ is obsessed with romcoms conclusion aggravated assault is serious business, and a dude who loves romcoms is kind of aces (unless you love pretty woman: that shit is weak).  also:  ahaha. thank you, matt kassian. your tweets make you superior.

as a reminder that this is a blog of true facts, we are pleased to present the second edition of an ohl-education investigative report, “it’s almost like they’re related or something.”

this week, we will compare and contrast two canadian nhlers: zack kassian and matt kassian. this particular report will lie towards the “or something” category of comparison…because they are not wombmates. fact.

zack

  • born in kingsville, ontario
  • was drafted by the sabres; now plays for the canucks
  • is a forward
  • won wjc silver with team canada in 2011
  • does not have a brother named ‘matt’
  • was once arrested and charged with assault in windsor, ontario

matt

  • born in edmonton, alberta
  • was drafted by the wild and still plays for them
  • is a forward
  • hates heights but loves rollercoasters
  • does not have a brother named ‘zack’
  • is obsessed with romcoms

conclusion

aggravated assault is serious business, and a dude who loves romcoms is kind of aces (unless you love pretty woman: that shit is weak). 

also: 

ahaha. thank you, matt kassian. your tweets make you superior.

Posted 1 year ago

did you know that his first name is really regis, investigative report, matt kassian, pedobear pierre, ryan kassian, zack kassian, not wombmates,

Jan 15
since this blog is one of true facts, we are pleased to present the very first ohl-education investigative report, “it’s almost like they’re related or something”. a thing that we have noticed is that hockey commentators are obsessed with brothers in the nhl. it makes pedobear pierre twice as pervy. so, we have decided to examine each set of brothers currently playing in the nhl* and to provide you with scientific conclusions regarding which brother is superior. *this investigative report only includes brothers who have both spent significant time on nhl rosters in the 2011-12 season. so, sorry wellwoods, folignos, benns, toews, giontas, seabrooks, sestitos, stuarts, mcginns, kessels, bogosians and russells. true fact: it is disturbing that i didn’t have to look any of those up. brayden was drafted by the kings; now plays for the flyers is a forward won wjc silvers with team canada in 2010 and 2011 scored his first goal in the winter classic and jumped into the glass to celebrate was then told off by claude giroux for jumping into the glass as if he were still at the wjcs, in a beautiful moment of ~mentorship pavel bure is his favourite player luke was drafted by the leafs and still plays for them is a defenceman won a gold medal at the 2008 wjc used to play on a defensive pairing with tyler “giraffe child” myers was supposed to be the future of the leafs but is now probably going to be traded for james “lol second overall holy crap that was a shitty draft” van riemsdyk patterns his play after chris pronger and rob blake conclusion we are obsessed with the 2008 junior team canada. but pavel bure owns and blob rob blake sucks. brayden is superior.

since this blog is one of true facts, we are pleased to present the very first ohl-education investigative report, “it’s almost like they’re related or something”.

a thing that we have noticed is that hockey commentators are obsessed with brothers in the nhl. it makes pedobear pierre twice as pervy. so, we have decided to examine each set of brothers currently playing in the nhl* and to provide you with scientific conclusions regarding which brother is superior.

*this investigative report only includes brothers who have both spent significant time on nhl rosters in the 2011-12 season. so, sorry wellwoods, folignos, benns, toews, giontas, seabrooks, sestitos, stuarts, mcginns, kessels, bogosians and russells. true fact: it is disturbing that i didn’t have to look any of those up.

brayden

  • was drafted by the kings; now plays for the flyers
  • is a forward
  • won wjc silvers with team canada in 2010 and 2011
  • scored his first goal in the winter classic and jumped into the glass to celebrate
  • was then told off by claude giroux for jumping into the glass as if he were still at the wjcs, in a beautiful moment of ~mentorship
  • pavel bure is his favourite player

luke

  • was drafted by the leafs and still plays for them
  • is a defenceman
  • won a gold medal at the 2008 wjc
  • used to play on a defensive pairing with tyler “giraffe child” myers
  • was supposed to be the future of the leafs but is now probably going to be traded for james “lol second overall holy crap that was a shitty draft” van riemsdyk
  • patterns his play after chris pronger and rob blake

conclusion

we are obsessed with the 2008 junior team canada. but pavel bure owns and blob rob blake sucks. brayden is superior.

Posted 1 year ago

4 notes

brayden schenn, luke schenn, ryan schenn, investigative report, saskatoon is better than wherever you are from, lol really the red wings, pedobear pierre, did you know that his first name is really regis, because it is,